Shine On, Sheen

Since the CS is Outta Here thread turned into a phone call, I figured there may as well be a separate log on Chowee's whereabouts, for CSI.

Now that he's off on his World Tour and Continued Downward Spiral, I think speculation on his ex show, ex children and exes are in order.  Yesterday there was actually a Charlie Sheen movie on TV, with some alien invasion in Mexico or some such thing.  From the little I could tolerate, he was mostly just breathing heavily and the aliens lurched like claymation figures.  You know, when it's all said and done you have to consider the entire Charlie Sheen catalog to weigh his career contributions.

Or, maybe not.  I guess Platoon was ok, and he did a good Wild Thing in that stupid baseball movie.  Plus, his tenure in 2 1/2 men, although that too apparently wasn't acting. 

I do hope the show continues, just for Berta and Angus Jones and Jon Cryer.  Plus Herb Melnick.  Heck, they could bring in the whole cast of "Who's Line Is It?" for the show and I'd be fine with it.  Now that Charlie won't be replaced by John Stamos, or Emilio Estevez, I would offer:
Michael J. Fox to step in (how ironical would that be... plus, he's a steadier actor than Charlie).
Or Robert Downey Jr.  Heck, he's been there, done those.
Steven Tyler; he already beat up Charlie playing his neighbor, so he could move in...
Sean Penn and Elvis Costello and the rest of the support group; they were alright.
The Pizza Delivery guy, that Charlie always tipped well.  Heck, the guy's doing Fidelity Investment commercials now so he did make a killing on that delivery job...
Johnny Depp; he's popular, and everywhere, plus he's a pirate.
Some young guy who's actually a vampire, or a werewolf.  They're also popular, and sort of where the character was going anyway.
Since Charlie is getting thinner and needs hair weaves and is pretty much going downhill physically, either Keith Richards or Ron Wood of the Stones.  They're pretty indistinguishable, plus one's also a pirate.
I don't think either one can be harmed by drugs, either.  So should be able to keep the job.
William Shatner; he sorta floats around in TV shows anyway so could move in.
Jimmy Smits; a guy who left TV to become famous, and probably ought to go back to his day job.
Jon Cryer in makeup, as his own brother.  Sort of like Patty Duke as her identical cousin.

Or any professional football player, since they could use the work and money over this coming year...  Michael Strahan for a new sitcom?

Ace; they should be able to keep it going until Jake turns 30 or marries Rose...

I think the shine on/shine off Sheen makes it sound like a Shamwow commercial.

You know, the gaunt wan-ness was mid season.. he didn't look that decrepit early on.  I did notice Alan looks to be spraying his hair (sort of like Hugh Laurie on House, where it becomes this strange brown "web"....  I had read from one of his "goddesses" that Charlie is actually without much of anything in the way of teeth now, too... just gold nubs he has to wear a crown plate over to resemble teeth.

Sounds attractive.. right up there with Mickey Rooney on multiply-married heart throbs.

Ace; the drugs probably increase the beat.

I watched Wall Street-Money Never Sleeps with Michael Douglas yesterday and CS had a small 2 or 3 line dialogue in it. So I guess he did get around some. But, yeah other than that i really never was much of a fan. Never watched that two and a half show much, as a rule I don't do too much network shows. I have been watching a few more lately on Netflix since you can watch a whole season at a time and not miss one or wait through commercials. 

The Wall street movie was pretty good, sort of picked up where the old one left off. But I won't turn this into another topic about something else.
 

Hey, speaking of Wall Street, what do you think about all of that insider-trading manipulation and planned obsolescence of our financial markets, let alone how panic and feeling bad seems to drive the value of stocks and securities, even without an actual cause to effect that result, such as when gas goes up just because oil might, eventually, or the stock market reacts to the Japanese catastrophy even though nothing has actualy affected anything yet, and there might actually be an upswing for their markets and industry since they'll need to rebuild and replace which will drive their economy for some time, and with all of these family businesses like Sheen-Sheen-Estevez and Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas in Wall Street it was kinda weird when he was wearing those high-neck collars but glad if he really did recover I guess like a Gecko for insurance, and his wife is still one Hot Welsh. 

Ace; so's Tom Jones, although I don't think he's related to Angus Jones.

Or it might be the world's longest Haiku that got jolted around by an earthquake and sumo-nami.

I don't watch 2 'n a half, but I might if CS was replaced by SM or CE (Steve Martin; Clint Eastwood).

Scuzzy; Staloone or Scwhaswtternergger would be okay, too.

I believe one never looks a cash cow in the mouth, so I predict 2 1/2 or even 3.0 will be back.  Three's Enough, as they used to say.  It is arguably the most risque/bold/out there prime time comedy.  I'll miss it.  Maybe a "guest host" every week; Charlie already flew out, and Alan rents out his home to a special guest.

Clint Eastwood is banned in Japan, since he did the big Tsunami scene in his latest and also is known for war documentaries highlighting that whole paybacks are heck WWII thing.  Plus, he drives a Gran Torino and Toyota can't recall those.

I'm kinda glad when we had our civil war we didn't have that many world powers intercede...  It's sorta like a Colorado Springs officer being called in for a domestic disturbance... in Canada. 

Ace; I sorta wish a Tsunami would take out Tripoli.

Foolishness aside for a moment, one of the side effects of the Japanese disaster is that computer chip prices are rising pretty rapidly which will probably have a domino effect with other components as well.

Bill; you can call me Gordy.

Dangit Gordy, I don't know why it's so dang difficult to stay on task here and discuss Charlie Sheen and his wayward ways and not have the dang conversation revert to Wall Street or buildings or tracking phones and other things falling like dominoes let alone computer prices rising like... well, suns or dominoes which thankfully I've already been gouged for my bi-decade upgrade last month anyway.

Geez Louise.  Sorry, guess I needed my own meltdown. 

Ace; I'm going to poast some chain entitled "Absolutely Nothing Here About Charlie Sheen, At All, Ever" and figure we can eventually get back to his meltdown.  Not that there's much left to melt.

Since this is a thread about cash cows, let me tell you about a suspicious call I took yesterday. The caller reported finding a human femur out in a nearby field.

It was somewhat warm yesterday, and I was overdressed expecting cooler weather at night. Wearing 25 lbs of equipment, I took a long walk off a short pier into the bushes. Once we got to the suspicious femur-looking-thingy, it looked, well... suspicious. I took a picture with my cell phone and sent the image to one of our homicide detectives. He confirmed, without doubt, that it was merely a suspicious cow bone.

I thanked the caller and told him that I was taking the bone for evidence. Then I hiked back to my patrol car where I set the air conditioner to super-max.

Scuzzy; my dog is currently eating the evidence.

You know, with your spelling I first thought you mispelled "female" and then figured you must have meant "Lemur."  I wouldn't think their bones would be that consequential.  Plus, I couldn't imagine what a Human Lemur would resemble, besides Charlie Sheen.

You're probably lucky you didn't turn upside down and roll down the field, on your wrist.  So, is there a one-legged cow somewhere out there?  That wouldn't be that difficult to tip, if there was. 
ed. note: Ace isn't sure why he referred to a "one legged cow" as opposed to a three-legged cow, which would seem more representative of a cow missing its (human) femur.  But he then decided the image was amusing enough to leave as is.

Ace; I had a dog who would hump your leg, but at least she didn't snack on it.

You remind me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail where King Arthur battles the Black Knight. Probably the funniest bit in history.

"It's just a flesh wound."

Scuzzy; bring out your dead.

My brother in law tends to be overly-interested in funerals, visitations and wakes, and even pursued a job in the mortuary business, so I did get him a Python "Bring Out Your Dead" tee shirt. T shirt.

In my defense, Bruce Springsteen did do a song off "Working On a Dream" called The Wrestler, with this:

Have you ever seen a one legged dog makin' his way down the street
If you've ever seen a one legged dog then you've seen me



Which is about as nonsensical as a one-legged cow.  The Sheen is off his rocker, too. 
Ace; I say "NI!"