Author Topic: News and World Retort  (Read 1057 times)

Offline Ace

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News and World Retort
« on: Oct 15, 2011, 09:14 AM »
* I'm envisioning a Rick Perry - Michele Bachmann ticket.  That will allow them to base their view of America and our origins as a nation who fought off the oppressive government in the 16th century when Paul Revere rode to warn the British that they were coming on Elvis'  Birthday, when he died, before the British submitted to their subjects but not in a bad way but out of respect.

* I was pleased to find out that 9% federal sales tax would be added to existing state sales taxes, for a 15-18% sales tax on anything new.  I don't mind buying used, but I'd have to draw the line at "food."  I suppose it's ok, since I wasn't planning to buy anything new anyway.  Maybe for years, if this "overhaul" came to be.  Which rhymes with "keelhaul."

* A report said teen drivers are most likely to crash in their first month of driving.  I'm thinking pre-teens and gradeschoolers would probably be even more likely to crash, if they got behind the wheel.  And ironically, those who've driven for 70 or more years are found to also be likely to crash.  It's hard to find some middle ground on this.

* Hillary Clinton won't entertain thoughts to be a VP candidate.  I wonder if Joe Biden talked to her.  Besides looking pretty disinterested in public affairs and life, it would also mean she'd have to wash her hair and get it styled occasionally.  I know, who am I to talk.. I have to wash my scalp in a bit.

* With the ongoing interest in cosmetic surgery, I wonder who the first celebrity will be to go for a face transplant.

* Hey, how about that Ashton Kucher?  I think he saved 2 1/2 men, and it's as funny as ever.  But somebody better mention to him he's just playing a part, and he shouldn't attempt to be Charile Harper in real life too, going by those moving van shots and liaison reports.

* Personally, liaison and entrepreneurial are two of the most ridiculous words to spell ever.

* Lindsay Lohan's teeth were shown to be a bit brown.  Charlie Sheen's were seen to be a bit gone.

* Crowds of angry people with no particular agenda or focus are trying to take over Wall Street.  I thought that was the system we already had in place.

Ace; I don't make the noose, I just twist the rope.

Offline scuzzy

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Re: News and World Retort
« Reply #1 on: Oct 16, 2011, 12:21 AM »
I'm actually okay with the 9-1-1 tax thingy. If the taxes are too high, I'm all for calling the cops. It's not like if we have something else to do.
 
One thing I've learned as a cop is that everyone crashes, including cops on their way to investigate crashes. It seems nobody is immune. But it's funny when cops crash into teen drivers, or old people, as has happened in our office.
 
I'm thinking Hillary Clinton would have been a perfect fit for 2 & 1/2 Men. Or Joe Biden for that matter.
 
We also have angry crowds here with no focus. I'm angry they lumped me in their 99%. I could understand if they were angry about Netflix price increases. I should call 9-1-1 to complain.
 
Spelling prerogative always gives me fits, as it's not pronounced that way. Purrogative would be appropriate.
 
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Offline pat

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Re: News and World Retort
« Reply #2 on: Oct 16, 2011, 10:50 AM »
Well, I did see (only I don't remember what town, but the state was Colorado) one of the local police stations was robbed. The toilet was stolen and the Police had nothing to go on.

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Offline scuzzy

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Re: News and World Retort
« Reply #3 on: Oct 16, 2011, 12:25 PM »
Well, I did see (only I don't remember what town, but the state was Colorado) one of the local police stations was robbed. The toilet was stolen and the Police had nothing to go on.



OMG! That is horrible. I feel so bad for those cops.

Scuzzy; the joke was horrible too, but I really like it.