Author Topic: Again, more blond(e)s...  (Read 1303 times)

Offline JimS

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Again, more blond(e)s...
« on: Jan 05, 2012, 11:45 PM »
Geez, so I'm away for a few days (okay, 1,058, to be exact); so freakin' sorry.  Like the Prodigal Son, I finally return home, and there's not a blonde joke to be found.  Forget the fatted calf; just a freakin' blonde joke, or two, or more, that's all I ask.  What's going on around here?  You bury my favorite poast into the dank, musty archives; with 500 responses, you'd think it would at least warrant a headstone or something of the like in the new forum.  Pitiful, truly pitiful...  :'(

I guess it's gonna be up to me to carry the load, so let's get started:

80,000 blondes met in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention”.  The leader says, “We are all here to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid.  Can I have a volunteer?”

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up onto the stage.  The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?”  After 15 to 20 seconds, she says, “Eighteen?”

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.  Then the 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance!  Give her another chance!”  The leader says, “Well, since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place, and we have world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.”  So he asks, “What is five plus five?”

After nearly 30 seconds, she eventually says, “Ninety?”  The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh.  Everyone is devastated.  The blonde start to cry, and then the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting, “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!  GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”  The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, “OK!  OK!  Just one more chance; what is two plus two?”

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”  Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out, as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream… “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!  GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”

 ;D ;D ;D
"I shall pass through this world but once. Any good I can do, or any kindness that I can show any human being, let me do it now and not defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
- Stephen Grellet

Offline scuzzy

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Re: Again, more blond(e)s...
« Reply #1 on: Jan 06, 2012, 12:19 AM »
Now that was worth waiting for 1,058 days.

Scuzzy; I think a fourth chance was in order.

Offline Bill

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Re: Again, more blond(e)s...
« Reply #2 on: Jan 06, 2012, 08:11 AM »
Good re-start. Welcome back.

Bill
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Offline Ace

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Re: Again, more blond(e)s...
« Reply #3 on: Jan 06, 2012, 09:55 AM »
Just be glad they didn't demand some testimonial "Origins of Jims Blondes Jokes" in your absence.

With you guys back, that brings up the membership here to 5 or 8 at least.  Counting blond(e)s.  That means we have a quorum.  We should at least arrange a Fatted Blonde for you, in recognition.  I have some chubby pig artwork, and could probably add a blonde wig on one.

Ace; I didn't even realize we could say freakin', now.  This could cause pandemonium to break out.

Offline pat

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Re: Again, more blond(e)s...
« Reply #4 on: Jan 06, 2012, 04:20 PM »
I was at the gas station yesterday and a lady asked me if I could help her out. So I said perhaps, what's up. She had put her credit card up into the paper receipt slot instead of the credit card slot and it was stuck up there. Yep, she was blonde.

I was reading through some Craig's list posts yesterday and saw one that was for two CRT monitors, both for 15$ or 5$ each. No way for me to see if blonde or not. It was over in South Bend though if that tells you anything.
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Offline Ace

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Re: Again, more blond(e)s...
« Reply #5 on: Jan 06, 2012, 05:20 PM »
As far as being in South Bend, I think that speaks volumes.

I love the "perhaps" response; that is one cool and cautious Samaritan.  Did you retrieve the card?  although there's a chance if she did get it back she'd drop it in the window washer towel container.

You probably should hurry on those CRT monitors; those are going to go fast. 

Ace; when I'm at the grocery the clerk asks "credit, or debit?" to which I answer "Cash."  "Which is pretty much debit..."

Offline pat

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Re: Again, more blond(e)s...
« Reply #6 on: Jan 07, 2012, 08:54 AM »
"Did you retrieve the card? "

I did not. It was so far up there and I had nothing to reach up in there with. Someone that was working there came out with a key and opened it up and retrieved it for her.
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